Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Every move counts — A true leader, realizes they don’t know everything. When that time comes they seek other leaders with more experience and wisdom. For me, one such leader, is my father-in-law Ron Weinke. A man of few words, it has been the sense of observation, from this great leader, which has taught me so many valuable lessons. The day my father, Mike Murphy, passed away began a lifelong relationship which grows deeper every year. As Ron walked into church, for my father’s funeral, I will never forget the look on his face. This is a man who has been to war. A man who has fought for our country. A man who has raised a family and been forever loyal to his beautiful wife, Betty. As he got closer I could see he was scared. I could see this was a moment of reflection as he was a father to 3 children and one day they would be standing in the same shoes I was on that day. Ron approached me and I sensed he knew there were no words to express his condolences. Being a man of very few words it was not expected. What came next, was all a young man who lost his father needed from the only remaining father he would have to help raise his children in a world filled with adversity and struggle. Ron stood before me, for a moment, wrapped his arms around me and said, “We Love You.” As he backed
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Words Crafted Into Stories…

Create Positive Feedback Loops — 9:25am yesterday morning I received a text message. A buddy of mine who I have not heard from in a while. A successful entrepreneur who I enjoy talking with as we bounce ideas off each other and provide honest feedback for problems we are both trying to solve. Knowing how busy we both are I completely understood why he never read my newsletter, until now. “Time” is a very precious asset we all must cherish and spend wisely. So, when I received this text from my friend the feeling was amazing. It stopped me in my tracks. I parked the car, shut off the engine and read his text message… not once, not twice but five times. Every time I read the words I asked myself different questions: Why did it take so long for him to open my letter… I’ve been sending them for 18 months? What did he read in my letter that would motivate him to send me a text message? Man I wish we could hook up more often and share more stories? How is he doing? I’m so glad I wrote that letter this month to reconnect with him. Sitting back reading this message from a buddy of mine it gave me a chance to reflect on “The Power Of Words” an email I sent out a while back: http://www.timkmurphy.com/whats-on-my-mind/beliefs/are-they-just-words-on-paper-or-do-they-have-power/ As I was reflecting I took into account the emotions a simple little text message like this, from a buddy,
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Everyone gets knocked down in life… The real test — getting up

Bam! She got hit in the mouth and went down… That’s what it felt like earlier this year when we found out our daughter, Ireland, made the “C” team for traveling softball. She worked so hard in the offseason to get better on her throwing, hitting and catching knowing tryouts were a big deal this season. We all kept rooting her on. Then, we got the news. This was the first time we had really been vested in sports and the process of tryouts and making a softball team. I’ll never forget those times when I was a kid. As a parent, it’s 10x more intense. You just want to get out there and do it for them. Ireland was devastated, tears started rolling down her cheek, she lost her breath as she started to gasp for air; then she started crying. As a parent this is the most helpless feeling you will ever have when it comes to parenting. The reality of competition just hit home. That’s when your fight or flight instinct kicks in. “Ireland, you don’t deserve this. You are better than this. There has to be some kind of mistake.” I said. Mom, coach and long time collegiate softball player herself, starts running through all of the players out loud. Trying to determine why Ireland landed on the “C” team. After hours of talking it through we both said to each other, “This is a mistake!” Then I thought to myself, Wow! this is so real.
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Leader, Manager & Operator all at the same time…

“Wow!……… I’m speechless Murph, give me a second.” Scott said, as he looked to the sky, then looked down at the table and gradually put his hands on his head pulling his hair back. You have to know Scott to appreciate this moment of silence. Scott is the type of guy who can walk in a room and light it up. Kind of like Norm when he walks into CHEERS. “Norm!!” everyone shouts as he walks in the door. Scott, is a man who wears his heart on his sleeve, will give the shirt of his back and loves nothing more than a good conversation. Coming from a military family Scott knows what it means to work hard, do the right thing and treat others with respect. His military father instilled these military principles in him. You can just feel it. Quickly, Scott lifted his head to say, “Bro, I knew you wanted to talk today. But, I didn’t know you were going to completely blow my mind.” Scott said, with a passion in his voice that moved me. He then said, “Murph, you need to understand something about me. I was raised by a military father in a military home. He loved me. But, he was hard on me because as a drill sergeant in the military that’s all he knew. Sure, I hated that as a kid. I fought his orders… to my dismay. As I grew older, I became to respect the lessons my father taught me.
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Are they just words on paper… Or do they have power?

This made me think about two mothers of individuals I showcased in my “Special People Doing Special Things” section of our newsletter. I wrote about a buddy of mine and I wrote about a gal on my team. The gal Diana, on our team called me yesterday, “Tim, you won’t believe this…” she said. “What! What did I do now?” I responded. “My mom is here reading the section you wrote about me in the newsletter. She is in tears reading it and can hardly finish.” Diana said. In the background I could hear her mom say, “Let me talk to him!” She got on the other end of the line. I could hear her sniffles and her hand bump the phone as she went to wipe her eye. “Give me a second to gather myself Tim.” 2 seconds go buy and she gets on the phone. A deep breath and this is what she says, “Tim, I know we have never met but, Diana has told me so much about you these last 3 years. I want to thank you for everything you do. But, this letter…” she had to take another deep breath and pause. “This letter, these words mean so much. They are so true and so real. Diana does have a huge heart. She is loyal and dependable. Most of all she always sacrifices for others. You and I know the ruff roads she has traveled in these last 3 years. For this I thank you
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Look in the mirror…

How Does The Person Looking Back At You Feel?   Last night a friend called me furious about the fact his buddy, who is a loan officer, just found out he was shopping him and talking with more than one mortgage lender. He screamed at me, “You made me look like an idiot!!” because, his buddy had ordered up an appraisal — before my friend even signed formal docs committing to work with him as his mortgage lender. This stunt, his mortgage officer buddy pulled, was not typical and/or ethical. Because if I didn’t stop the appraisal and it was completed — this would have costs my friend $450. The test of true character happens everyday. The question is… are you hiding from your true character or have you found strength in your self awareness to admit who you really are. This video reminded me of my friend I worked with. He is a good person. Doesn’t mean to hurt anyone. But, what he doesn’t see is how his actions speak louder than his words. This subjects tests all of our character. Makes us think twice about everything we do. GOOD! because, being different isn’t easy. Being a leader doesn’t happen over night. Leadership is a test. A test not many people pass. Like Jocko that test can come at the worst of times. Your true character can be revealed even when you don’t realize it is happening. So, ask yourself… If I was put in the same position as Jocko. Would I have
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