“Hey kid, you and I both know you’re a top player on this team. Hell, you might even be one of the best defenseman in the league. But, if you don’t change your attitude I’ll cut ya off the team next year when you come back. “ The words of coach Marlin Muylaert — who changed my life.
That summer I went home questioning who I had become as a person. Questioning how I got to be the man I was. Why… am I so negative about the sport I love, a team of guys I care for. Attitude problem… What attitude problem?. “We can’t have you being negative. It’s like a disease in the locker room. Your teammates look up to you.” These were specific things coach said I needed to work on. “Positive Things Happen To Positive People” Marlin said to me; as I left his office for summer break. Questions just came flooding through my mind and I had to find answer FAST!
Over the course of my 2001 summer I promised myself one thing. You are going to do whatever it takes over the next 12 months to change your attitude. How will you know if you actually accomplished your goal? Coach will tell you. If he doesn’t notice an attitude adjustment… you failed.
The summer of 2001 I began reflecting on everything I had done leading up to my meeting with coach. I realized my whole life growing up rarely was I ever on a losing team. Baseball, football and hockey — these were the varsity sports I played in high school. Winning a state championship in football as a sophomore and a state championship in hockey as a senior. I was used to being on winning teams. Loosing….. was for losers. So I thought.
I reflected on all of the wonderful things in life I am thankful for. My parents who have done everything in their power to support me along the way. My Uncle Bob who came to many of my hockey games and paid for me to attend hockey camps. The coaches I had, the teammates and lifelong friends. When I reflected on this I realized I had a lot to be thankful for.
My attitude stemmed from a disappointment in me.
Growing up, gifted with athletic talent, you almost take it for granted. Throwing kids out at first base from center field… to me… that was just normal. Running a 4.5 40 yard dash was just fun. Skating circles around older kids at the outdoor hockey rink… was a rush. All of this talent just came natural. I didn’t need to try. I didn’t need to dig deep to find it. It just happened. I came to realize later in life when you are gifted with talents like these — don’t waste them. Don’t take them for granted. Because, I did.
Focus On Your Gifts — They Are The Key
That summer I learned more about me then I had ever known. I learned my negativity was coming from a person inside me who couldn’t let go of his dream to be a professional athlete. A person who couldn’t let go of the reality there is more to life than sports. I realized there was a chip on my shoulder about the time when I was a Junior, in high school and had to have double knee surgery. Before my knee surgeries I had letters poring in from universities for Football, Baseball & Hockey. The University of Minnesota was recruiting me for all three sports. The confidence I had as an athlete after my Junior year was a rush. I didn’t want anything else. But, as reality would have it… the day I had my first surgery was the day my hopes and dreams of being a professional athlete where shattered. Letters stopped coming. The phone stopped ringing and my name disappeared. I was broken.
As a young kid, this left a big scar and I didn’t even know it.
Finally, that summer, I realized I could let go and I would be “OK” because I had other gifts and talents. My calling was for something bigger than myself and this was a lesson I needed to learn to help me find my way.
Leaving home that summer, on my way to Eau Claire to start my Senior year… I realized on the car ride (alone) something changed inside of me. A peace had come over my spirit. As if I had finished that chapter in my life and knew this was my last year ever playing competitive hockey. The best part. I was “OK” with that. Because there is more to life…
After my Senior 2001–2002 hockey season at Eau Claire University ended; I will never forget our end of year party. Coach was up in front of the room handing out awards. Reflecting on our season, the fact we had a winning year which didn’t happen once while I played for Eau Claire. At the very end, as families and players grew quiet…. he looked up and said, “But, after all of these awards and memories the one person who I felt was the most valuable player on our team this year. The player who made the biggest improvement and did something I couldn’t be more proud of….. Tim Murphy. Tim was a leader this year, he was our best player and he was one of the biggest reasons we finished with a winning record. Son, I am proud of you!”
To this day, I speak the words “Positive Things Happen To Positive People” every morning before I step out of bed.
Your Mindset… Will Set You Free
“Hey kid, you and I both know you’re a top player on this team. Hell, you might even be one of the best defenseman in the league. But, if you don’t change your attitude I’ll cut ya off the team next year when you come back. “ The words of coach Marlin Muylaert — who changed my life.
That summer I went home questioning who I had become as a person. Questioning how I got to be the man I was. Why… am I so negative about the sport I love, a team of guys I care for. Attitude problem… What attitude problem?. “We can’t have you being negative. It’s like a disease in the locker room. Your teammates look up to you.” These were specific things coach said I needed to work on. “Positive Things Happen To Positive People” Marlin said to me; as I left his office for summer break. Questions just came flooding through my mind and I had to find answer FAST!
Over the course of my 2001 summer I promised myself one thing. You are going to do whatever it takes over the next 12 months to change your attitude. How will you know if you actually accomplished your goal? Coach will tell you. If he doesn’t notice an attitude adjustment… you failed.
The summer of 2001 I began reflecting on everything I had done leading up to my meeting with coach. I realized my whole life growing up rarely was I ever on a losing team. Baseball, football and hockey — these were the varsity sports I played in high school. Winning a state championship in football as a sophomore and a state championship in hockey as a senior. I was used to being on winning teams. Loosing….. was for losers. So I thought.
I reflected on all of the wonderful things in life I am thankful for. My parents who have done everything in their power to support me along the way. My Uncle Bob who came to many of my hockey games and paid for me to attend hockey camps. The coaches I had, the teammates and lifelong friends. When I reflected on this I realized I had a lot to be thankful for.
My attitude stemmed from a disappointment in me.
Growing up, gifted with athletic talent, you almost take it for granted. Throwing kids out at first base from center field… to me… that was just normal. Running a 4.5 40 yard dash was just fun. Skating circles around older kids at the outdoor hockey rink… was a rush. All of this talent just came natural. I didn’t need to try. I didn’t need to dig deep to find it. It just happened. I came to realize later in life when you are gifted with talents like these — don’t waste them. Don’t take them for granted. Because, I did.
Focus On Your Gifts — They Are The Key
That summer I learned more about me then I had ever known. I learned my negativity was coming from a person inside me who couldn’t let go of his dream to be a professional athlete. A person who couldn’t let go of the reality there is more to life than sports. I realized there was a chip on my shoulder about the time when I was a Junior, in high school and had to have double knee surgery. Before my knee surgeries I had letters poring in from universities for Football, Baseball & Hockey. The University of Minnesota was recruiting me for all three sports. The confidence I had as an athlete after my Junior year was a rush. I didn’t want anything else. But, as reality would have it… the day I had my first surgery was the day my hopes and dreams of being a professional athlete where shattered. Letters stopped coming. The phone stopped ringing and my name disappeared. I was broken.
As a young kid, this left a big scar and I didn’t even know it.
Finally, that summer, I realized I could let go and I would be “OK” because I had other gifts and talents. My calling was for something bigger than myself and this was a lesson I needed to learn to help me find my way.
Leaving home that summer, on my way to Eau Claire to start my Senior year… I realized on the car ride (alone) something changed inside of me. A peace had come over my spirit. As if I had finished that chapter in my life and knew this was my last year ever playing competitive hockey. The best part. I was “OK” with that. Because there is more to life…
After my Senior 2001–2002 hockey season at Eau Claire University ended; I will never forget our end of year party. Coach was up in front of the room handing out awards. Reflecting on our season, the fact we had a winning year which didn’t happen once while I played for Eau Claire. At the very end, as families and players grew quiet…. he looked up and said, “But, after all of these awards and memories the one person who I felt was the most valuable player on our team this year. The player who made the biggest improvement and did something I couldn’t be more proud of….. Tim Murphy. Tim was a leader this year, he was our best player and he was one of the biggest reasons we finished with a winning record. Son, I am proud of you!”
To this day, I speak the words “Positive Things Happen To Positive People” every morning before I step out of bed.
Thanks coach — you changed my life
Change Your Mindset — Change Your Life
Tim Murphy
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