Last night a friend called me furious about the fact his buddy, who is a loan officer, just found out he was shopping him and talking with more than one mortgage lender. He screamed at me, “You made me look like an idiot!!” because, his buddy had ordered up an appraisal — before my friend even signed formal docs committing to work with him as his mortgage lender. This stunt, his mortgage officer buddy pulled, was not typical and/or ethical. Because if I didn’t stop the appraisal and it was completed — this would have costs my friend $450.
The test of true character happens everyday. The question is… are you hiding from your true character or have you found strength in your self awareness to admit who you really are.
This video reminded me of my friend I worked with. He is a good person. Doesn’t mean to hurt anyone. But, what he doesn’t see is how his actions speak louder than his words.
This subjects tests all of our character. Makes us think twice about everything we do. GOOD! because, being different isn’t easy. Being a leader doesn’t happen over night. Leadership is a test. A test not many people pass. Like Jocko that test can come at the worst of times. Your true character can be revealed even when you don’t realize it is happening.
So, ask yourself… If I was put in the same position as Jocko. Would I have taken “Extreme Ownership” would I have been able too reflect on the truth and realize all the fingers came pointing back at me?
All to often I see people pointing the fingers at someone else for their actions or lack there of. I see people making decisions and when those decisions go wrong they find someone to blame.
I — like I always do, reccommended my client talk with one of our trusted lenders whom I know will always take “Extreme Ownership” and do what is right. Carrie Guarrero did everything in her power to service my friend, provide him the best possible loan package and was honest about everything that could be expected from her. She never ordered up an appraisal. She never got mad at the fact they were not completely honest about how they were shopping (I tell people — “Just be honest about it — tell them you are talking with multiple lenders. Trying to get the best deal.” and keep your integrity) both loan officers and treating them like two peddlers on the street begging for change.
However, like so many others do — my friend decided he would play sneaky, crawl around in the shadows and let each loan officer guess what the next move might be. Wondering… what they need to do to get his business. Most people feel, when they are shopping, as if they hold “The Force” and in turn weilded “The Force” like darth vadder does.
When the spot light was turned on — after I told the appraiser (his buddy hired without him knowing) my friend decided to go with Carrie. The shadows disappeared and his tricks were exposed. he was caught.
The borrower, like a bat in a cave when the sun rises and shines it’s light, got enraged and tried to hide from his truth. The truth he didn’t want to take “Extreme Ownership” of. But, like my grandfather always said, “Tell the truth and you will never have to remember what you said.”
The borrow then took it out on me, yelled, swore and even hung up the phone. Why, because he didn’t want to accept what really happened. What he had really done. He said, “You made me look like an idiot.”
You see, these are the moments when being truly self aware allow me to take a deep breath. Absorb these acqusations and reflect on who I really am. Sure, his words hurt. Yes, I was very upset for a moment as my character was being challenged. But, it’s times like these when I look in the mirror and reflect. I dig deep and ask the hard questions.
The person in the mirror looks back with a feeling of self confidence, trust and leadership saying, “Leaders learn from mistakes — theirs and others. Leaders absorb chritisism even when they don’t agree with it. Because, a true leader takes ownership.”
As my 5 year old daughter once said to me, “Leaders Don’t Hide.”
Look in the mirror…
How Does The Person Looking Back At You Feel?
Last night a friend called me furious about the fact his buddy, who is a loan officer, just found out he was shopping him and talking with more than one mortgage lender. He screamed at me, “You made me look like an idiot!!” because, his buddy had ordered up an appraisal — before my friend even signed formal docs committing to work with him as his mortgage lender. This stunt, his mortgage officer buddy pulled, was not typical and/or ethical. Because if I didn’t stop the appraisal and it was completed — this would have costs my friend $450.
The test of true character happens everyday. The question is… are you hiding from your true character or have you found strength in your self awareness to admit who you really are.
This video reminded me of my friend I worked with. He is a good person. Doesn’t mean to hurt anyone. But, what he doesn’t see is how his actions speak louder than his words.
This subjects tests all of our character. Makes us think twice about everything we do. GOOD! because, being different isn’t easy. Being a leader doesn’t happen over night. Leadership is a test. A test not many people pass. Like Jocko that test can come at the worst of times. Your true character can be revealed even when you don’t realize it is happening.
So, ask yourself… If I was put in the same position as Jocko. Would I have taken “Extreme Ownership” would I have been able too reflect on the truth and realize all the fingers came pointing back at me?
All to often I see people pointing the fingers at someone else for their actions or lack there of. I see people making decisions and when those decisions go wrong they find someone to blame.
I — like I always do, reccommended my client talk with one of our trusted lenders whom I know will always take “Extreme Ownership” and do what is right. Carrie Guarrero did everything in her power to service my friend, provide him the best possible loan package and was honest about everything that could be expected from her. She never ordered up an appraisal. She never got mad at the fact they were not completely honest about how they were shopping (I tell people — “Just be honest about it — tell them you are talking with multiple lenders. Trying to get the best deal.” and keep your integrity) both loan officers and treating them like two peddlers on the street begging for change.
However, like so many others do — my friend decided he would play sneaky, crawl around in the shadows and let each loan officer guess what the next move might be. Wondering… what they need to do to get his business. Most people feel, when they are shopping, as if they hold “The Force” and in turn weilded “The Force” like darth vadder does.
When the spot light was turned on — after I told the appraiser (his buddy hired without him knowing) my friend decided to go with Carrie. The shadows disappeared and his tricks were exposed. he was caught.
The borrower, like a bat in a cave when the sun rises and shines it’s light, got enraged and tried to hide from his truth. The truth he didn’t want to take “Extreme Ownership” of. But, like my grandfather always said, “Tell the truth and you will never have to remember what you said.”
The borrow then took it out on me, yelled, swore and even hung up the phone. Why, because he didn’t want to accept what really happened. What he had really done. He said, “You made me look like an idiot.”
You see, these are the moments when being truly self aware allow me to take a deep breath. Absorb these acqusations and reflect on who I really am. Sure, his words hurt. Yes, I was very upset for a moment as my character was being challenged. But, it’s times like these when I look in the mirror and reflect. I dig deep and ask the hard questions.
The person in the mirror looks back with a feeling of self confidence, trust and leadership saying, “Leaders learn from mistakes — theirs and others. Leaders absorb chritisism even when they don’t agree with it. Because, a true leader takes ownership.”
As my 5 year old daughter once said to me, “Leaders Don’t Hide.”
Tim Murphy
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